@Parker_Simpson: I trust a woman ab as far as I can throw her. Very far. As far as she wants. I'll do anything plz come back to me *cries into pillow*
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@Parkerlawyer: I told my 8 year old son, “There’s something so special about you. Since you’re my last baby, you will always be mommy’s baby to me.” To which he replied, “God I hope so. Aren’t you pushing 50?”
@iamspacegirl: Dog *just lookin at me* Me: go lay down Dog: ok. Cat *kneading her claws into my stomach* Me *wincing*: thank you Cat: damn right thank you
@david8hughes: The first fireman to get called to rescue a cat in a tree must have had the hose wrestled from him before someone told him to get a ladder.