@Parker_Simpson: I trust a woman ab as far as I can throw her. Very far. As far as she wants. I'll do anything plz come back to me *cries into pillow*
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@juneohara65: "The only difference between heterosexual and homosexual sex is which hole you stick it in." ~my mother after a few drinks
@joerogan: There's an age where being drunk becomes pathetic but if you hang in there somewhere around 70 it becomes cool again.
@bigmacher: Cat saves kid? Please. My cat would've pushed me into traffic, stolen my identity, & would be living it up in Mexico by now.
@Maxine12333: The only way I'd get within six feet of some people is if I'm standing on their grave.