@BackrowSeats: I try contributing to society but it keeps insisting I take it back.
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@pissrifle: good news Craig, we got your murder charge bumped down to theft. just tell us why you stole that dude's blood/bones
@NervousJr: People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.
@Prero22: I have a splitting headache today. Voldemort must be back from the dead and attempting to kill me.
@lawyerthoughts: Pro tip: if you absolutely must speak in court, do not put air quotes around "the law". Judges don't like it.