@TheBoydP: I try not to be loud in the office restroom stall unless my boss is in the restroom, because then I want to prove I'm not just goofing off.
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@iNusku: I had this one night stand, and the next morning I felt so guilty I bought another one for the other side of the bed.
@Dallani: Yes, 911?... Yeah, this guy is wearing green-colored skinny jeans and he has a really hot girlfriend. So do I judge him...or her?
@theroneman: Son, there's only one thing in life to fear. [Car full of bears with machine guns drives by] Son, there are only two things in life to fear.
@sixfootcandy: Picking out the right Christmas tree is a science. Sneaking into your neighbor's yard to cut it down is an art.