@FaisalAdam_: I try not to tell people I had shoddy dental implants done, but whenever in a conversation, it just comes out.
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@TheGladStork: Sorry I panicked and told your kids that Santa is able to visit every house in one night because he does meth.
@trentistweeting: "Go out there, kid! Make a name for yourself-" JAMARCUS McTHUNDERNUGGETS THE THIRD "Trent that's not really what i-" It's Jamarcus now
@GingerHotDish: Maced a hobo who started pulling cables out of my computer at work. Turned out to be the hipster IT guy and now I'm in HR again.