@FaisalAdam_: I try not to tell people I had shoddy dental implants done, but whenever in a conversation, it just comes out.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ColoChiver: My boss told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have. Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting in a Batman costume.
@TheDailyManning: Dear girls, Santa saw your Facebook page, you're getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.
@Carmel_Coleman: I keep graphic, full frontal nude pictures of myself on my cell phone in case anyone ever hacks it. That'll teach 'em. Can't unsee that.