@AbbyHasIssues: I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
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@GensPlace: I was ringing this 0800 number for two days before I realised it was their opening hours.
@aksorojas: "Yeah, and she's not breathing. Should I call someone?" "Yes!" "Hello! Yes, hello Pizza Hut, she's not breathing."
@ozzyunc: "As a creative person I'm often asked where I get my ideas." Yeah. As a creative person you often imagine people doing that but they don't.