@AbbyHasIssues: I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
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@murrman5: *holds up 2 ties* which one, I have a big meeting today "both are nice" [wife calls later] "how'd it go" well, wearing 2 ties was a disaster
@Bexdora: Is that a pineapple in your pocket, or are you just....Why do you have a pineapple in your pocket?
@SortaBad: [speed dating] her: I really want to have a child some day. What about you? me: define "child"
@70Ceeks: hungover at 22: dag gonna be 9 minutes late for work at 39: ...finally, to my faithful cat elroy i leave my cache of nagano '98 olympic pins