@Donna_McCoy: I turn my phone off overnight. A 3am text either means bad news or drunk people, and both make more sense in the morning.
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@markydoodoo: If you're havin AutoCorrect problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 parabolas bit s butch Saint omg.
@FrogAvalanche: *leads horse to water* "You're not gonna drink, are you?" *horse neighs* "It's The Fountain of Eternal Youth." Horse: You're not foaling me.
@TheMichaelRock: According to HR, white people aren't issued a race card, and they'd appreciate if I went back to my desk. *shrugs*