@HeyZeus666: I turned off Auto-Correct for the first time, and now my new girlfriend thinks she has a face that launched a 1000 shits.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@fro_vo: Guy in Car: get out of my way idiot Guy in Crosswalk: pedestrians have the right of way Car Guy: this ain't Pedestria buddy this is America
@TheHyyyype: [picking her up for a date] ME: you should know that i have a baby from another marriage HER: really? ME: yes, but the parents haven't realized it yet so we gotta hurry, get in