@adult_mom: I turned off the TV today and made my kids play board games like it was 1955 and now I know why all of our grandparents were alcoholics
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@Freudianscript: People who try to test my patience don't realize it's an exam I don't plan on passing.
@ThRealBallsDeep: I wonder if the guy I'm interviewing knows this isn't for a cologne model position.
@CrackedIllusion: Haven't refilled my prescriptions in a while. Which has been instrumental creating the mass grave beneath this wood shed.
@Reverend_Scott: A dog needs to be the next president. "A dog can't-" When has a dog ever raised taxes or started a war? "I'll start the paperwork."