@Carbosly: I turned on my computer and it went "Word" and I was like "Yo".
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@AIanHangover: Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you.
@simoncholland: My GPS just told me to turn left into a cornfield and now I'm afraid it wants to murder me.
@joejwest: ME: You've put on weight DRACULA: No I haven't. Prove it ME: When you fly, how many bats do you turn into? DRACULA: [deep sigh] A shitload