@Terdoh: I typed "Cigarettes" in the search bar and it said "No Matches".
The universe has spoken.
@EndhooS: Lecturer: The human body is made up of 60% water
Me: Oh god...
Lecturer: *rolls eyes* What is it now?
Me: [drowning somehow] I CAN'T SWIM
@david8hughes: Me: coming to the office Xmas party?
Steve: no [whispers] Lisa just lost her father
Me: there'll be like 50 of us there. We'll help you look
@PrinceGreenJr: *goes to the park*
*spoon feeds red bull to the ducks*
@mommywhines: Enjoyed 3 minutes and 42 seconds of extra sleep this morning by letting my kids stay up 5 hours past their bedtime
@KeetPotato: poet: knick knack.. paddy whack..
me: this guy is awful
my dog: i know right
poet: ..give the dog a bone
my dog: actually lets hear him out