@JohnMayer: I understand that t-shirt guns exist but what about shooting pants at people? This seems useful too
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@batkaren: JON: What should I do with these extra mustard packs? MARY: Just stuff 'em in the Lazy Susan. SUSAN: Hey, I'm right here! (*remains seated*)
@thetobbie: When jogging, if i get tired, I insult the people i pass in my head & then imagine having to get away as they chase me...
@calamitydaisy: I feel a burst of superiority when I trick a fly into flying out of my car window.