@JohnMayer: I understand that t-shirt guns exist but what about shooting pants at people? This seems useful too
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@BoozyMusic: My new dentist asked me if I gag easily. "No, I'm a professional," probably wasn't the answer he expected.
@TheDailySchmuck: I was dating this girl until I found out she stuffed her bra with tissue paper. Then I was hooked because serious allergy issues.
@kcmoore51: Oh you're in the shower? Here's the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
@kelkulus: Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I'd probably have done better if they'd specified that they didn't mean by tickling.