@JohnMayer: I understand that t-shirt guns exist but what about shooting pants at people? This seems useful too
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@minnie_in_pink7: I hope George Clooney dumps his wife so he and Brad Pitt can finally be happy together.
@TheCatWhisprer: My toddler eats with her right hand but is ambidextrous when it comes to total destruction.
@InternetHippo: [fingers tented under chin] What can I tweet that won't make people yell at me [starts typing] Hello [brick flies through my window]
@TCsSideBitch: *standing outside your house I was totally going to stalk you but... *pets your dog instead