@JohnMayer: I understand that t-shirt guns exist but what about shooting pants at people? This seems useful too
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@RidiculousSheri: *me looking at a police lineup* Number 3 is cute. OMG Is he single? Give him my number! What? Oh. Right. Five. Number 5 killed my grandpa.
@FauxFawx: In 1974 I helped a man called "Falcon" throw a heavy bag into the river.That nite on the news, I learned what it was: 300lbs of used condoms
@Dutch_50: I found a bat in my basement & my first reaction was to run to the door so the light could get in, because I saw it done in a vampire movie.
@kennyflorian: Can't trust CNN? Next thing ya know Nigerian royalty sending me emails will be fake.