@livingnBoston: I updated my drivers on my laptop and now I have all kinds of pop ups...thanks Microsoft!
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@jergarl: *takes ambien Oh. You said NO ambien before dinner at your parents. Wife: Really? Me:*already getting naked* I'm sure it will be fine.
@Burtslorp: *Jesus looks over bill from last supper* "It looks like a fair tip would be about 30 silver." "I got this!" Judas yells, almost too quickly.
@delusionaliam: Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it.