@WilliamAder: I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes.
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@aligarchy: sorry i'm late, i have terrible time management skills and zero perception of distance as it pertains to speed of travel
@zombieparrot: Driving and trying to read twitter, I just ran over a poodle. Unfortunately I drive a Yaris. My car got a dent and the poodle got annoyed.
@rockymomax: ME: (before I bought a fanny pack) I wish I had something to carry this baby ME: (after I bought a fanny pack) the baby doesn't fit in here
@KKAlThani: I wouldn't take a bullet for you but I'd definitely push someone in front of you to take it for you. Same thing.