@WilliamAder: I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes.
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@RegularFred: I was banned from guitar class because of an inappropriate reaction to "let's practice your fingering technique"
@markleggett: Approach a woman in a bar and whisper "Hey, wanna get out of here?" If she says yes, you can sit where she was.
@paralysing_word: If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.
@animaldrumss: Guy [beating me up for making a joke at an inappropriate time]: whos funny now you piece of shit Me: wait, you thought i was funny before?