@CommonSavant: I use my neighbor's outdoor jacuzzi for bubble bath time with my cat. I'd invite him, but my cat's funny about bathing with strangers.
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@jannable9: Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions.
@Nikkeya08: Me:*looks up from phone* Okay, it was Mr. Plum in the ballroom with the wrench. Family: M: Mom: We stopped playing that game 5 hours ago.
@Michael_Erhart: I'm gonna be a professional farmer when I grow up. I've been wanting to get in that field for years.
@Social_Mime: Wife - You ate all of the Reeses eggs? Me - You left them out in the open on the top shelf under the shirts in the back of the closet.