@ryan_rachryan80: I use so many age defying crinkle creams that I don't have finger prints anymore.
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@flashember: Seize the day! by its legs and lock it in chains. Hold a mock trial, find the day guilty. Behead the day. Bury the day in a nameless grave.
@CornOnTheGoblin: mom: are you kids committing seppuku in there me: [trying to scoop my guts back inside me] NO mom: ok... no seppuku
@lloydrang: Cashier: do you need bags? Me: do any of us NEED anything? Cashier: sir, I have a liberal arts degree too Me: plastic please