@Eric_Bader: I use to bleach my bangs so I know about regret.
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@shutupmikeginn: air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming.
@ashmensch: Harry: Want to see a magic trick? Voldemort: Let's see what you got Potter. Harry: Got your nose! Voldemort: You know I hate that game.
@SwedishCanary: When birds poop on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just so they know what I'm capable of.