@Dawn_M_: I used 5 different things as a napkin today and one of them was my neighbour.
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@pauleggleston: 'Hello Microsoft support, what's the nature of the problem?' 'Eggshell' 'Eggshell??' 'Yesh' 'Oh hello again Mr Connery. Spreadsheet issues?'
@HardmanRick: Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Oh my... not that close. I can't breathe. How are you so strong? LET ME GO TINY DANCER
@shatterpants: I am realistically only 1 crossbow away from accidentally killing someone with a crossbow.
@_thatigirl: 83 yo man, "You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl". Me: "I'm caucasian". Him, "Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me".