@mooturkey: I used a fax machine today!! I also ran all the cotton thru the gin and plowed the field with my oxen while it finished dialing up.
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@JustTashie: Welcome to twitter, the support group for people who like people who don't like people.
@ericonederful: I was on a date and my credit card got declined. Her credit card got declined too. Then I knew I was in love.
@tuckerflodman: [halftime] Coach: Okay men we're literally losing at basketball to a dog... any ideas? -I have one. *pulls out vacuum with a jersey on*