@mikeym00n: I USED MY WIFE'S VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO AND NOW I CAN'T STOP YELLING!
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@iamspacegirl: *ring* Mrs. Rabbit: Hello? Mr. McGregor: Your kid's in my yard again. Mrs. Rabbit: Oh i'm so sorry, is he- Mr. McGregor: yea he's naked
@tchrquotes: Bear boss: I need to see you two in my office right away. *I see my coworker is nervous* Me: Relax, how bad can it be. Salmon: Shut. Up.
@Chumpstring: GENIE: you have three wishes ME: make math go away GENIE: ha ok that one's on the house ME: oh so I still get three wishes? GENIE: huh?
@TheIronSherk: Raspberry buy guitar Raspberry take lessons Raspberry answer ad Raspberry show up at drummer's house Raspberry plug in Raspberry Jam