@AllieA: I used to accidentally hold hands with strangers I mistook for my dad. It's slightly weirder now that I'm in my 20s and doing it on purpose.
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@ClaytonSykes: I was simply stating that your crying child MIGHT fit comfortably in the overhead compartment, lady. #butseriously
@chrisanna4real: I'm not self medicating myself with booze. The guy at the liquor store wrote me a prescription. Well he called it a receipt...whatever.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Check it out! I'm juggling! Wife: Me: Wife: You're supposed to use more than one ball. Me: Can't you just be happy for me?