@SweetTweetsBRO: I used to be a people person, but apparently collecting people in your basement is frowned upon.
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@AndyAsAdjective: *pauses Airwolf on the VCR* *sets wine cooler down on the coffee table* *turns to her* ME: what do you mean this isn't working out?
@rickolantern: My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I'd have to stay away from carbs So I've been using this insanely long straw to drink beer
@caliluvgirl77: I love when my friends start selling weight loss shakes because that's one less person I ever have to talk to again.