@SweetTweetsBRO: I used to be a people person, but apparently collecting people in your basement is frowned upon.
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@WornOutMommy: I can't wait to jump on my kids' beds at 5am on Mother's Day, and holler "WHAT DID YOU GET ME?!?"
@JasonLastname: Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds.
@KalvinMacleod: [sky diving] INSTRUCTOR: questions before we jump? ME: do u think clams ever choke on their pearls? INSTRUCTOR: *pushes me out of the plane*