@omgthatspunny: I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
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@theshamingofjay: If you jump through the hole in a hipster's earlobe you get transported to a SIMS game where the only people are Harry Potter characters
@iwearaonesie: wife: how is it outside? me: windy. almost blew one kids hat off and some guy's trying to figure out how to get his smart car out of a tree
@McKnightyBoo: My 6yo has been rolling around on the floor for 30 mins whining for me to get her some juice cause SHE doesn't want to Go ahead. Have kids