@squirrel74wkgn: I used to be happily married...but then we went furniture shopping together.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DistractedMomma: Can one of you please tell my ex husband that I died? I feel like it would be more believable coming from someone other than me.
@Fred_Delicious: Ladies & gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. If you look thru the left hand windows right now you'll see me doing the worm on the runway
@richforri: I like Tweets that are so good that when I send them to FB my old friends won't talk to me on the phone for a week.
@Marlebean: My husband loves to role play Sexy Star Wars in bed. Maybe one day I'll get to wear the golden bikini.