@JennyJohnsonHi5: I used to give my co-workers nicknames based on their most dominant features, like 'Loves Abortions Brenda' or 'Eats Her Feelings Julie'.
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@fro_vo: [first date] Me: so what do you do Date: i’m an accountant Me: oh nice Date: thanks Me: Date: Me: so how many ants have u counted so far
@VodkaShorebird: GUY 1: Why can’t we skip rope without society judging us? GUY 2: What if we occasionally beat the crap out of each other? Boxing is born.
@bighandsmassuer: If she's interested in you she will reply If she isn't, she won't Unless she's thinking about it then who knows how long it could take
@garrettn: Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet.