@QwertyJones3: I used to hate flying. I thought the plane would go down. But now I just bring my wife with me on the plane because my wife never goes down.
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@Parentpains: If the liquor store didn't want me to drink all their alcohol than they never should have put a help wanted sign in the window.
@Staggfilms: It’s so unfair in life you meet the adult equivalents of the bad kids from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory and you’re not allowed to murder them in various ironic ways.
@HeyZeus666: I just realized that no matter what it says on my tombstone I'm going to have to read it upside down.