@MelvinofYork: I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself.
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@addmoreninjas: That's nice that you're a Christian now. Could you maybe be a Christian a little quieter?
@iGreenMonk: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest replied, "I know. I saw your tweet!"