@MelvinofYork: I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Your an idiot. -You're. What? -You're not your. But I said it. I didn't type it. We're talking. -Yeah but I heard the typo. You're an idiot.
@texasstalkermom: I only have Facebook to keep track of where everyone I know is going to be, so I don't show up there.
@fridaycandy: Apparently If ur BF says "if anything happens to me,I want u to meet someone new...." "anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic.
@Lisa_Laughs_: Me: I can't work today. Boss: Why? M: My grandma died. B: Our grandmas died 20 yrs ago. M: ... -Why working for your brother is a bad idea.