@KentWGraham: I used to sing my daughter to sleep at night, which is probably why her first word was “Stop.”
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@MelissaJoy33: Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don't get married. If you are over 35, don't get married. If you are 35, don't get married.
@Cheeseboy22: Finally getting around to calling all those kids that wrote in my middle school yearbook, "We should hang out this summer."
@CatherineLMK: "Remember that man you met for 5 seconds when you were 2 months old? Let me catch you up on his medical history" -my relatives