@ieatanddrink: I used to think I could control ducks with my mind but it turns out ducks & I just have very similar ideas about what stuff ducks should do
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@Chelsea_Elle: So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
@senderblock23: No, I said I wanted to BING you on my kitchen counter. You know, the popular search engine?
@XplodingUnicorn: My daughter's school was closed for fog. Back in my day, Godzilla could be destroying the city & the principal would be like "2-hour delay"
@jaaaaaayyyyyyyy: Barkeep. Send a drink over to little ms. thang over there. Tell her it's from me Sir, that's a Ms. Pac-Man machine *raises glass, winks*