@ieatanddrink: I used to think I could control ducks with my mind but it turns out ducks & I just have very similar ideas about what stuff ducks should do
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@TheAlexNevil: The expression should be "seeing things eyes to eyes". Otherwise you're suggesting a meeting of the minds between Cyclops
@Carbosly: There's this guy at work who's giving his wife a gym membership & a vegetable juicer for her birthday tomorrow. His name was Tom.
@ObscureGent: If a gorilla stole my girlfriend and started throwing barrels at a construction site, the last guy I'm gonna call for help is a plumber.
@DanteEvilCat: Silence is golden! Unless you have a toddler, then silence is very, very suspicious.