@socarolinesays: I used to think I'd never be able to be president because I'm a woman but now I know it's because I don't like drinking water
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@primawesome: Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. We think we might be in love with your call. We made your call a mix tape.
@AndyRichter: If you're not carrying around matchbooks from places you've been recently I don't know why you don't want your murder to be solved
@treydayway: I get accused of hating white people many times on here. That's not true, some of my favorite shirts are white.
@TeaPartyCat: Duck Dynasty guy is right-- if we baptize all those ISIS guys, Iraq will be safe because Christians never start wars for bullshit reasons.