@socarolinesays: I used to think I'd never be able to be president because I'm a woman but now I know it's because I don't like drinking water
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@Dani_Feld: Relationship status: I just found a piece of chicken in my hair. I ate it. Then looked for more.
@brennadine: "How was the beach? You hang ten or what?" No but I stabbed a couple because they kept asking stupid questions about my vacation
@lisaxy424: 1997 middle school me learning about Rome: But how could such a developed and rich society collapse so suddenly? 2017 me: oh