@socarolinesays: I used to think I'd never be able to be president because I'm a woman but now I know it's because I don't like drinking water
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KimMonte10: Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore? There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot
@PetrickSara: What I say: Play outside. What my kid hears: Find a spot in the yard where I can't see you so I constantly imagine you've been kidnapped.
@SortaBad: me: [trying to sound cool] I'm in a punk band cute co-worker: that's cool. What the band's name? me: [looking over desk for ideas] Inbox(29)