@Black__Elvis: I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light.
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@jonnysun: i once saw a pigeon on the subway & it got off at the financial distribct & all i coud think was "cool. that bird makes more money than me"
@causticbob: I said to my wife, 'Hey, I really love these new furry condoms.'' 'Bob, that's a cat.'
@Phook75: If Thomas Jefferson was alive today people would scream "What the hell? You're almost 300 years old!"
@deskslave1: When I see crate of kittens in a pet store I think "oh a crazy cat lady starter kit!"