@Black__Elvis: I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light.
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@bingowings14: I haven't said a single truthful thing on here since I became the King of Sweden.
@LackOfShame: [their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it
@Home_Halfway: Accidentally used AXE shampoo to wash my cat the other day and now he's boxing strays and impregnated 17 dogs