@Black__Elvis: I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light.
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@TexasHickspanic: I can only please one person a day, and i already pleased myself this morning.. so y'all are screwed!
@slimmy_shady: Did you know that if you squint at a cat and it squints back, it's the cat's way of saying "What the f are you looking at?!"
@JerseyRambo: You know you're watching Star Wars with Catholics when every time you hear "May the Force be with you," you hear, "And also with you."
@Holbornlolz: Eastern Europe - 1989 "If we leave the Soviet Union, we might have to get visas to visit Siberia and turnips will be more expensive"