@LoveNLunchmeat: I used to think people who looked for sex on craigslist were rock bottom... Then I discovered twitter.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AimeeHelene1: When someone at work asks you what you're doing this weekend, just pull a lettuce leaf out of your pocket and slowly start licking it.
@Jenny4ashley: Who cares if you break a damn mirror. If you think 7 years of bad luck is hell, try breaking a condom.