@LuvPug: I used to wave my hands in the air like I just don't care, but now I just wave them because I get more steps on my FitBit
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@robdelaney: Man next to to me just said into his phone "You caught me in the middle of a sandwich." He's lying. He is not in a sandwich.
@ojedge: [packing for holiday] WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen
@Mom_Overboard: At Dunkin Donuts- 8: Can I get choc. milk? Me: We have that at home. 8: We have coffee at home too... Me: WHO TAUGHT YOU LOGICAL THINKING?!