@TheTweetOfGod: I used to work in mysterious ways. Now I just don't work.
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@InThaBurbs: Taking my sunglasses out of 2's hands while he naps in the car is the closest I will come to diffusing a bomb.
@jay_as_hell: choose one to drop: 1. acid 2. bass 3. out of college 4. the assault charges 5. that thun thun thun
@AndrewChamings: (god creating crows) black. blacker! little beady eyes. deathly squawk angel: what if there’s a bunch of them god: MURDER angel: you ok pal?
@BGH70: The company hates when I helicopter into work. It's always, "zip up your pants and go see HR now!"