@TheTweetOfGod: I used to work in mysterious ways. Now I just don't work.
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@GlennyRodge: Just tried a kids meal in McDonald's. Unfortunately, her dad chased me away before I got any of her chips.
@amishschool: My wife yelled, "This is the LAST TIME I'm going to tell you to take out the trash", and I thought, thank goodness THAT is finally over.
@just1fool: Who, me? Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work.
@kumailn: You think Japanese teenagers are shocked the first time they see a real live naked woman & it's not all pixelated looking down there?