@EliTerry: I USED VOLUME MAXIMIZING SHAMPOO THIS MORNING SO YES I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM IN YOUR FACE OFFICER
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@YourTumblrFeed: *job interview* so tell me a fun fact about yourself Guy: well when I was 5 I fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla exh- get the hell out
@shawnspree: Squiggly line squiggly line space Squiggly line squiggly line space Squiggly line squiggly line space ~me reading Arabic DM
@Reverend_Scott: "Kids are picking on me, Mom" I'll teach you how to fight, son. "Yes!" [Mom spreads rumors about son and ignores him for 3 days]
@stephenjmolloy: *stationary for 7 hours* Me: "Actually, I'm not sure this is one of those driverless cars."