@RidiculousSheri: I usually roll around in the magazine aisle at Barnes and Noble before a date because I want to smell nice, but I'm on a budget.
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@Reverend_Scott: I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it's slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever.
@aka_fatman: Chief: You're the WORST cop in the department! Hand over your gun and badge! Me: *realising I left both in my son's crib* Uhhhhh....
@PJTLynch: Announcer: "Welcome to the Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show. Are you ready to rock?!" [crowd goes nuts] A: "Well too bad, here's Coldplay"