@KrazykurtKurt: I usually spend my Sundays texting apologies but I've had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do.
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@saladinahmed: hey I just met you and this is crazy but I'm going to argue with another stranger in your mentions for hours maybe
@Raahael: "Whatever you do in bed, Sealy supports it". Clearly whoever came up with that ad doesn't watch CSI.
@WeissBrandon: Oh no sir, that shark wasn't attacking me, my wife was yelling at me from the shore so I was just trying to swim into his mouth.
@PaperWash: "I bought a new car!" Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay? "Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"