@MikeCanRant: I wait til the mailman comes to send all my emails in front of him while keeping eye contact and whispering "Your end is nigh, letter boy."
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@AmericanGent69: Me: *leads her to bedroom* This is where the magic happens. Her: Nice *4 rabbits jump out of a hat as a flower squirts water in her eye
@brunopieroni: No Amazon, I don't want to sort stuff by "Price: High to Low," who are the billionaires who would even make that an option?
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: Is there candy in that drawer? Me: No. 4: Can I check? Me: Do you have a warrant?