@joeljeffrey: I waited around all morning for the mailman so I could grab his hand through the mail slot.
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@clindsaysway: I like to make a guy feel welcome in the morning by surrounding him with stuffed animals while he sleeps.
@aPunch2theJunk: HAVE SOME FUN WITH YOUR LIFE: Whisper "You should have killed me when you had the chance" to the person in the bathroom stall next to you.
@CJhooray: I just saw a list of candidates for the local Juvenile Judge election and I just don't think juveniles should even be able to be judges idk
@jannable9: People can't drive. Take this guy behind me for example, doing 110 mph with flashing blue lights. What the hell is a ECILOP anyway??