@joeljeffrey: I waited around all morning for the mailman so I could grab his hand through the mail slot.
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@KKBowls: I let a Jehovahs Witness in my home, I sat him down and said, 'what do you have to tell me?' he said, 'I don't know, never made it this far'
@SteveKoehler22: When your wife asks you to dig a hole for her shrub- She'll feel threatened if you make it large enough to hold a body. I know this now.
@hazelmotes1: Mom: *tastefully decorates house* Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED