@joeljeffrey: I waited around all morning for the mailman so I could grab his hand through the mail slot.
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@Book_Krazy: Everytime I see my see my neighbors having sex in their hot tub, I think to myself "I can't believe I'm recording this"
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I posted "Happy Almost Mother's Day!" on this chick I grew up with's Facebook page, guess I was the only one who remembered her abortion.
@Gupton68: HR: Punching colleagues is wrong Me: But he drank from my mug HR: That doesn't allow you to— M: I'd just filled it with gin HR: You know alcohol is not permitt— M: —ger beer... HR: *high fiving me* Nice save!