@seamussaid: I wake my daughter up by tossing pebbles at her window so the first time a suitor tries she'll have the same response we do to alarm clocks
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@matt___nelson: *beats dead horse* *kills two birds with 1 stone* *lets cat out of bag* *takes bull by horns* *breaks camels back* *gets kicked out of zoo*
@dinnersruined: How to lose a gf: Gf: which of my friends would be the most fun to have a 3some with? Me: *names two of them*
@MelissaJoy33: Pro Tip: If you are under the age of 35, don't get married. If you are over 35, don't get married. If you are 35, don't get married.