@seamussaid: I wake my daughter up by tossing pebbles at her window so the first time a suitor tries she'll have the same response we do to alarm clocks
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PaulyPeligroso: They call Japan the "Land of the Rising Sun". Is that why they look like they're squinting all the time?
@AdinaSunny: Mother Earth: I'm not a regular mom. I'm a Cool Mom. [humans pollute the atmosphere and destroy nature] Earth: This is fine. I'm a Cool Mom
@iscoff: Eating food off the floor, taking pills, trying to chase away ghosts? I grew up to be Pac-Man