@dksc4life: I walk in the kitchen and see a note on the refrigerator. "The kids and I are leaving you. I want a divorce." Shocked, I break down in tears, wondering where it all went wrong. The husband is crying too, at which point I realize I'm in the wrong house.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nbadag: 10YO: [on her ipad] beat my high score! ME: y'know they're just numbers on a screen right? they don't mean anything [checks follower count]
@jeffswarens: If you stare at a 6 year old when they're eating a banana split, they hold it real close and eat faster.
@KirstenCatClub: [God Creating Raccoons] God: make a panda but a trash panda, then give it a mask so that people would know it will kill them for their food