@adultblackmale: [i walk up to a woman wearing headphones and take them off her and put them on] nice this song rules. what? sorry, can't talk. headphones on
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@Brampersandon_: [Me]: *slams fork & knife down on table* Not cool, babe. [Wife]: You didn't honestly think there'd be weed in your pot pie, did you?
@robfee: Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma? I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana