@LerbsyCherbs: I walk with a limp so people think I have a gun in my boot. And because I sprained my ankle running away from a moth.
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@RafflesWord: I want cake, to get cake I must get dressed, to get dressed I have to get out of bed, to get out of bed I need cake.
@jtswhipped: To the woman that told her husband to "bite my ballsack" at the store today,I golf clapped because you won life.
@david8hughes: [meeting aboard the ISS space station] Capt: all personnel are-David sit down please Me trying to open a window cos it's stuffy: in a minute