@teacup_giraffe: I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you're right fellas, men are smarter than women.
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@InigoUnleashed: Making a frisbee out of bread. Let's see how those bloody pigeons deal with that!
@scorpicpanda: I only watch French tv shows so my dogs think I'm more cultured than I actually am.
@simoncholland: I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.
@Jmboyd58: 2nd month dating: A thousand lifetimes with you would not be enough. 2nd month of marriage: OMG you are the loudest cereal chewer on earth!