@teacup_giraffe: I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you're right fellas, men are smarter than women.
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@internetluke: [leaving HS reunion w/ date] Aren't you going to ask why everybody was calling me 'smelly boy' tonight? "Seemed pretty clear I thought"
@Smug_Lemur: The best part about talking to a narcissist is how there isn't any pressure to add to the conversation.
@MarcusTheToken: I am really shocked that there is not a website devoted solely to the most clever Wi-Fi names of all-time.
@SteveSuckington: I can't figure out why my son hates me. Tim hates you? No, my other son. I can't remember his name. I just call him "not Tim"