@jergarl: I walked out naked one time and she's like wtf. And I'm like this is how god made me! And she's like no that's how beer and tacos made you.
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@BuckyIsotope: Octopus - 8 arms "Yes" Octagon - 8 sides "Yes" Octuplets - 8 babies "Yes" October - 8th month "No" I'm burning this world down
@peachgrenade: In the 1800s women were sometimes forced to wear an "A" on their clothing, signifying that they were Alvin from the Chipmunks.
@SaltyCorpse: I have to go watch my kid in a math competition and I just don't understand why Jesus has forsaken me like this.