@YearOfRat: I wanna be rich enough to realize that I can't buy happiness.
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@Prof_Hinkley: I was doing CPR on a co-worker for 5 minutes before someone told me that's just how she laughs
@KKBowls: Don't hand out condoms to high school students. Take away their deodorant and toothbrush. That'll cut down teen pregnancy
@Blonde4Dayz: The truck in front of me is hauling a fridge. Freezer just flew open and a chicken nugget hit my windshield. Day. Made.