@YearOfRat: I wanna be rich enough to realize that I can't buy happiness.
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@funderlaw: Wife is "not angry" that I ate her Pringles..... So, I'll be sleeping with one eye open, like a mob boss.
@Asbo_Unicorn: Spelling is very important in cosmetic surgery no one wants buttocks injected into their face
@SteveDutzy: Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.
@KristinGnr: To the jogger clinging to the hood of my car: That's why you run WITH the flow of traffic