@Pirate_nurse: I wanna be the reason you're comfortable with your prostate examination
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@RidiculousSheri: The restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally, but just me getting a pat down from airport security.
@emmatheist: Before I die, I'm putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames. My grand children will be so pwned.
@Tetley6969: I like it when my kids are old enough to drink out of the toilet on their own. That way I don't have to get out of bed to get them a drink.
@bromanconsul: met the cutest girl today. her eyes were gentle, like the light from a phone screen and her smile glowed, like the light from a phone screen