@jergarl: I wanna join a gang so I can get in a street fight with a rival gang and intimidatingly snap my fingers to a clever song about friendship.
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@huntigula: Fun bible fact: No records exist of Jesus' life from age 12 to 30 because he was backpacking across Europe with his pet Pterodactyl
@DaveWeasel: If you don't like the way you look naked, remember; by the time you have your clothes off, its the other person's problem.
@daemonic3: Pizza Hut: May I take your order? Me: Can you make a large pizza vegetarian? Pizza Hut: Yes, but don't ever call me vegetarian again.