@jergarl: I wanna join a gang so I can get in a street fight with a rival gang and intimidatingly snap my fingers to a clever song about friendship.
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@ShittyComedian: Anytime I'm using a stall in a public restroom and someone knocks on the door, I always say, "Did you bring the lube?" As loud as possible.
@WittySassBasket: A funny thing I like to do is yell 'God, not your WHOLE hand' when the doctor does a pelvic exam.
@HeyZeus666: Intellectual. A man who can explain electricity but doesn't know how to screw in a light bulb.
@ceejoyner: Misinterpreted some rabbit prints in the snow and told my scout troop to look out for babies running at 35mph.