@shellyspivey: "I wanna know who is responsible for this!" nn-Me to my parents, while pointing at myself.
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@LoneWolfStories: It's like my fridge sends texts inviting all my friends over the moment I fill it up.
@Playing_Dad: HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA ARE HIDING BEHIND THE CORNER. THEY ARE GOING TO JUMP OUT AND TAKE YOUR PHONE, WALLET AND PURSE.
@PaperWash: People without kids: I'll never yell at my kids People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD JUST WALK!