@ewfeez: I wanna work at a bank so I can get that employee discount on money
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@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: I need a scarf. Me: No, you don't. 3: To tie up bad guys. She needs a scarf.
@Shower4Thought: One of the perks of being a woman is that no one can ever surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom.
@YoungNobler: They should make custom Starbucks cards that say, "I wouldn't normally be buying your coffee, but I got this gift card."
@joeljeffrey: That awkward sexual tension when everyone leaves the kitchen and you're left all alone with a chocolate cake.