@TuffyNyC: I wanna work for a company where if you pass the drug test you get fired.
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@Michael_Erhart: Doc: "Your arm is broken. I'll put you in a cast for a while and it'll recover." Me: "Ok, but I don't get how being in a movie will help."
@robfee: House Hunters: We need plenty of space for entertaining, 62 bedrooms, a fully staffed Cheesecake Factory & a heliport. Our budget is $287.
@RegularFred: [Enter your password] Secret [Password must be 6 characters] Secrete [Password disgusting but accepted]
@Cheeseboy22: Asked my 1st grade students the riddle: What has four fingers and a thumb but is not alive? (A glove.) First response: "My Aunt Lydia."