@TuffyNyC: I wanna work for a company where if you pass the drug test you get fired.
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@Darlainky: [caught getting last piece of pie out of fridge] And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for that meddling open door beep!
@TheWoodenslurpy: Me: If I were you, I’d confront your boss Friend: You would? Me: I wouldn’t. If I were you, I would. If it were me, I’d do what you’re doing
@jake_lach: You think you have your anger issues under control until someone starts telling an important story while they're chewing