@TuffyNyC: I wanna work for a company where if you pass the drug test you get fired.
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@abbycohenwl: how to have good hair: - have bad hair - walk around like you have that hair on purpose
@SamGrittner: "WHAT DO WE WANT?!" "SELF-CONFIDENCE!" "WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!" *everyone breaks eye contact and starts mumbling*
@jwoodham: "You have a date? With who?" [Sees a fishing boat] "Uh, her name is Net..." [Sees someone with a booger] "Flicks! Net Flicks! Wait. Dammit."